As Episode 6 opens we are reminded that the consistently underwhelming Kenya Michaels is now after losing to Milan during the Lip Sync For Your Life portion (despite the fact that is the second week in a row Milan has been forced to LSFYL). Phi Phi, the mega bitch was apparently close friends with Kenya.
Milan comments that his drag is ‘misunderstood’ because he likes to “teeter totter in the boy world”. William bitchly but accurately points out that only works “if you’re super feminine” which Milan is not.
William we are reminded cried on the runway last week because everyone will to ‘be sent home so I can win’. Jiggly dryly coments “ I didn’t know Satan could cry”.
Time for the minichallenge. Wet Hot American Parking lot! It’s a wet tshirt contest with chests provided by Boobsforqueens.com! It’s a real website!
Ru says there is a crowd of ‘spring breakers outside’. Where do they find these people? And why are the nipples blurred when the queen are dancing onstage but not in the workroom? Phi Phi has a major wardrobe malfunction. His chest and wig come off. He blames the water but no one else comes undone.
William is acting like a drag queen porn star. As much as it annoyed me when he said “Its money in the bag” when it was announced he does indeed win.
For the main challenge Ru gives out queens a little history lessons with regards to the Stonewall Riots and Marsha P Johnson. Thank you Ru! Not only is RPDR the most subversive hour on television but it does an amazing job of imparting lessons about gay culture and its rocky past.
The queens are given boats in hanky in the Pride Flag rainbow colors (Do you know the hanky code? Google it. It was from back when gay had to send each other singles rather than be out in the open. It was the pre historic Grindr).
I’m going to let the amazing Pandora Boxx sum up the bitchy ”William starts to decorate his float with star stickers with his pictures on it. Then he rattles on about his Dolce & Gabbana coat. Can we just all bask in the sheer amazingness that is Willam’s ego? Can’t you all feel it? Smell it? It smells a little like spray tan, duct tape and used condoms. Am I the only one waiting for Willam to spontaneously combust from his own fabulousness?”
Phi Phi never stops being an bitch in this episode but at least her comments are more true than not. She quickly point out that Jiggly Caliente is drowning, unsure of her theme. Jiggly has been coasting by being slightly less awful than Milan for a couple of weeks now.
Chad Michaels – Pink
Chad does vegas showgirl float. And her ass looks AMAZING which guest judge Kelly points out. But is it really ‘fashion forward”? Wasn’t that the challenge?
Jiggly Caliente – Orange
For a plus size queen Jiggly half asses it. A cape thrown over a bathing suit (to quote Edith Head “NO CAPES!”), underdone makeup, she looked sad and scared on the runway. Ugh girl you came to this competition too soon.
Milan-Yellow
Not much better. Milan is more passionate but far more sloppy and seriously lacking in makeup and costuming skills. At least Milan tries. But for all that trying, she’s failing.
Dida Ritz – Red
Rupaul said “Fashion forward” A t shirt and red harlem pants? That wouldn’t be fashion forward in Indiana.
Sharon Needles – Green
LOVE HER. ADORE HER. WORSHIP HER. She took her boat and turned it into an entire story, dressing up like Medusa. No one touches her for sewing skills and makeup skills. No queen looks so dramatically different from challenge to challenge. And she’s a big ole pile of fun to boot!
Latrice – Turquiose
Like Sharon she grabbed the challenge used it to tell a story, Ursula the Sea Witch but she doesn’t quite have Sharon’s sewing or makeup skills and was SEVERLY dinged by Michelle Visage for wearing her lace up pirate boots AGAIN. It’s a fair criticism. As Kelly Osbourne put it “goth lesbian hiking boots. I will burn them”.
Phi Phi – Purple
Sci Fi – I guess that’s fashion forward. It’s a Buck Rodgers cat suit. Still she stood on the runway like she was sucking on a lemon. She looked stunning but sour.
William – Blue
Oh Wiliam. I hate you. Yes you had the best boat, yes you had the best outfit but you need some humility. I think I’ll leave it to Tom and Lorenzo to sum it up;
“So congrats once again to Willam. There’s no doubt she had the best look on the runway but we have to wonder if being able to wear your Gaultier bathing suits and Dolce & Gabbana coats is fair in a competition when other queens are walking that runway in homemade clothes. There doesn’t seem to be much of a rule there. Also, there was a little bit of judging fudging going on here, because Milan got slammed for making her boat all about herself and Willam won for basically doing the same thing. Obviously, there were other factors at play and we have no problem at all with her winning, but the judges had to jump through some hoops to get there.”
So it was Milian and Jiggly LSFYL. ONCE AGAIN Milan ripped off her wig and took off her clothes in case we forgot she’s really a man. This is drag completition. Jiggly unless Phi Phi royally fucks it up next week ( and I really hoping she WILL)you’ll be here only for about 10 more minutes.
So Currently My dream team of Latrice, Chad and Sharon Needles have me in 5116th place. I love that the scoring is plus 2 for saying bitch, plus 5 for being bleeped.
Later kittens!
My own trip through the dragulator...
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